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WUEWEEKLY EQ DECEMBER 11-17, 2003

Listen to the question and answer session from Chuck D's recent Edmonton presentation. Chuck D on Thursday, December 18th

between 1 and 3 PM on YOU'RE SOAKING IN IT with DJ Wet Spot.

Listen to an exclusive in depth interview with former member of the Minutemen and member of the legendary The Stooges, Mike Watt. Mike Watt in conversation on THE VELVET GROTTO with Chris Andritch, Tuesday, December 16th between 9 and 10 pm

CONTENTS ONTHEGOVER

4 Legislature lookback 5 A-Channel strike diary 6 Diamonds 7 Vue News 7 VuePoint 8 Three Dollar Bill 8 Tom the Dancing Bug 8 Haiku Horoscope 12 Chester Brown 13 The Fortress of Solitude 14 Zhauna Alexander 15 Print Culture 16 Snow Zone 22 In the Box 24 New Year's Eve guide

34 Dish Weekly 35 Smokey Joe’s Hickory Smokehouse

37 This Week

38 Music Notes 40 Music Weekly 42 John Julius Knight 43 Root Down 44 De La Soul

44 Porn Star Ball 47 Classical Notes 49 BPM

50 New Sounds 51 The Watchmen

53 Friday Night

54 Buffalo Soldiers

54 Something’s Gotta Give 55 Stuck on You

56 Film Weekly

ARTS

58 Tony Luppino

59 Theatre Notes

59 Arts Weekly

60 Free Will Astrology

THE BACK

61 Events Weekly

61 Classifieds

62 Alt Sex Column, *< 63 Hey Eddie! © ~

~< LOUIS / THERE ARE CANADIAN SURVEYORS ON EDOUARD JARION’S HAY-LOT / >

We've come a long way since a pair of teenage Canucks created Superman. Legendary comic-book artist Chester Brown’s has just published a fascinating book-length graphic novel that analyzes the life of perhaps the most contentious figure in Canadian history, Louis Riel ¢ 12

The transmigration Friday Night: Tony Luppino is

men

O66, a a Bin

of De La Soul traffic jams and EAGer to start his © 44 one-night stands new job ¢ 58 As Ss j e53 Ee

10 (lays that didn’t shake the world

A look back at shortest fall sitting of any provincial government

By SHANNON PHILLIPS

e security guys at the provincial Jiesste are always the most pleasant part of any skip across the river to watch the parliamentary shitshow. “The biggest kindergarten in the province,” joked one of the boys in blue as we went through security. “Not if the Learning Minis- ter has his way with class sizes these days,” I mumbled under my breath. _, Last week, Alberta's 83 MLAs wrapped up the shortest fall sitting in the country. Albertans were treated to

10 whole days of debate on the issues and several pieces of legislation. Fam- ily law, universities and colleges, First Nations land rights, water usage and auto insurance topped the agenda. While legislation is a bit of a yawn, Liberal and New Democrat opposition MLAs generally ensure a good debate on the issues. (Full dis- closure: I recently began a contract position as a consultant for the fed-

ANALYSIS

eral NDP.) However, very little of this debate makes it into the main- stream press; indeed, the Edmonton Journal legislature bureau almost never covers the actual substance of debate surrounding legislation. Instead, the Journal’s approach has been to wait for “leaks” to come

from government, usually the day before a major policy initiative or law is to be announced. The result is “news” in which the government gets its message out before opposi- tion parties or citizen groups can formulate a well-informed response. Favoured reporters cultivate rela- tionships with Tory politicians and bureaucrats, and the career advance- ment that comes from plum leaks is, consequently, not disturbed by investigative reporting or undue attention to groups critical of the government's agenda.

A little remedial media is there- fore in order. What follows is a shorthand guide to some of the laws the government of Alberta passed last week, and what the opposition had to say about them.

SEE PAGE 10

WARNING!

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VuEweeKly QZ DECEMBER 11-17, 2003

You want to know why I'm angry?

Our fourth A-Channel strike diary contributor says his former friends have stabbed him in the back

By CHRIS PETERSON

eptember 17, I was an electronic

ews gathering photographer for the station. Now my other job is more important—lI’m the chief steward of Communications, Energy and Paper- workers Local 1900, which represents striking workers. I’ve been a photogra- pher for nearly 14 years, three here in Canada and the rest all over the American midwest. In the three years I've worked at A-Channel, I received one raise. (In the meantime, with deductions going up, my biweekly paycheck has actually decreased.)

I was recently asked to write this column for Vue describing what it’s like being on strike at A-Channel. I wrote one, submitted it and was asked “Why are you so angry?” Well, let’s look into that.

Anyone who knows me can tell you that I shoot straight from the hip. I do not mince words. Since this strike began, I’ve displayed that quali- ty every day, whether by yelling pro- fanity at a scab or doing anything I

| the A-Channel strike began on

can to disrupt a broadcast, like mak- ing noise or attempting to get into camera shots. This has apparently put me on management's “most wanted list.” I know this because a so-called “friend” on the inside told me that management was targeting me.

So what? Bring it on. I’ve done nothing illegal and I won't. I know that the worst any scab has been treat- ed by a striking worker is being called names and sworn at. What do you expect me to do—kiss them on the cheek and pat them on the ass as they go to work and do my job? Hell no.

Two goons went face-to-face with me in a parking lot recently; they seemed to want me to a throw a punch. The same day, one of our people was hit by the door of an SUV in the parking lot across from our strike office as he videotaped me being threatened. And you wonder why I’m angry?

But here’s what makes me really mad. The so-called “friends” on the inside scabbing who effectively stabbed every one of their co-work- ers in the back. Why do they do it? To me, it’s greed and cowardice. It makes me angry that people who I considered good friends are now inside taking that dirty money. Someone I let babysit my daughter decided that a $1,000 bonus was

more important than our friendship How much for a soul? Mine costs a hell of a lot more than that.

There’s one person who used to get into my truck and asked to see pictures of my daughter every time. This person bought a dress for my daughter, the dress I christened her in. I sent the dress back to this person, who crosses my picket line every day. And they wonder why I am angry?

The scab who told me I was a tar- get, he basically taught me how to play hockey. Hell, he set me up for my first goal. I held this person in high regard, | considered him a close friend—and what did | get for it? Knife in the back. Now he’s inside doing my job. Those scabs are steal- ing from us. Each and every one of them. Thieves. And they wonder why I am so angry?

THEY ALL TRY TO QUALIFY their choices by saying they’re just being loyal to the company, that they're concerned about their families, that they want the strike over just as much as we do, and that they’re doing the right thing. Well, if that were true, they would have walked with us and this would have been over already. If the decision they made was so right, why do they need to hide behind goons and tinted windows? I am not hiding; I have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing they can say will ever change the fact that they crossed a

i fs legal picket line. They are marked for life. Good luck getting your next job. The company owns you.

Let's talk a little about manage- ment and their “negotiations,” or lack thereof. They came to the table Saying that they would move on some issues. Not really. They said that we had their final offer and then walked away from the table again. And they wonder why I am angry?

This strike is not just about me and my paycheque. It’s about every one of the striking workers. Every time I call out a scab, I am not doing

THE GIFT GIVING GUIDEBOOK

@

CHAPTER TWO

Give a loved one to a loved one.

There are few gestures that are more meaningful than 1 giving a book as a gift. These timeless classics never seem to lose their relevance and manage to touch our

souls again and again. Don’t forget your inscription.

o sea = 1S) _ [-) a

it for my own satisfaction; I am doing it for every one of our members. The ones who are the sole moneywinners in their families and have four kids, the ones who are single parents living cheque-to-cheque, and for the future A-Channel employee who wants to make a honest wage for a honest day’s work. I will do anything I can to help obtain a fair contract for them. So the next time one of those scabs tells me I was just lucky that A-Chan- nel gave me a job, I will remember that a job is a right, not a privilege. And then I will get angry. ©

VUE WEEKLY

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Issue Number 425 December 11-17, 2003 available at over 1,400 locations

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Contributing Editors Phil Duperron (Music Notes) <musicnotes@vue.ab.ca>

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Contributors

Sean Austin-Joyner, Jonathan Ball, Ruben Bolling, Amber Bowerman, Josef Braun, Rob Brezsny, Richard Burnett, Sheryle Carlson, Colin Cathrea, Penny Cholmondeley, Caitlin Crawshaw, David DiCenzo, Minister Faust, Jenny Feniak, Brian Gibson; Hart Golbeck, James Gras- dal, Allison Kydd, Alexa Loo, Agnieszka Matejko, Andrea Nemerson, Chris -Peter- son, Shannon Phillips, Steven Sandor, Jered Stuffco, Francis Tétrault, John Turner, Christopher Wiebe, Dave Young Cover Illustration

Chester Brown

Production Assistant

Michael Siek

Administrative Assistant

David Laing

Printing and Film Assembly

The Edmonton Sun

Distribution

Sarah Douziech, Stewart McEachern, Bob Riley, Killian Selsky,

Wally Yanish, Clark Distribution

Vue Weekly is available free of charge at well over 1,400 locations throughout Edmonton. We are funded solely through the support of our advertisers. Vue Weekly is a division of 783783 Alberta Ltd. and is published every Thursday.

Canada Post Canadian Publications Ltd. Sales Product Agreement No. 40022989

Audit Bureau of Circulations Member

time again Moyers |u-lele)¢=1() ava) 01-181 ale(@)Ny

iCo-a\\e)4(eMe)migelele)(= By CAITLIN CRAWSHAW

University of Alberta campus

bears the name of the company that funds it—the world’s largest dia- mond producer, DeBeers. From this symbolic and financial gesture, a controversy emerged in Edmonton last year, with some students ques- tioning their school’s decision to accept the $100,000 donation. DeBeers, they argued, had long been accused of obtaining diamonds from mines controlled by rebel factions in volatile nations such as Angola, Sier- ra Leone and the Democratic Repub- lic of Congo. Like other corporations in the industry, DeBeers has also been accused of relying on child and slave labour to mine the gems and, indirectly, of supporting war and human suffering.

A diamond is forever, DeBeers has been telling us in its aggressive adver- tising campaigns of recent years. And it seems that the misery behind the gem is just as enduring. But while the story of human rights abuses in the industry is far from over, the tale has taken a turn for the better. The dia- mond industry is now changing its practices after a few years of cam- paigning by non-governmental orga- nizations like One Sky, Amnesty and Partnership Africa Canada (PAC).

Although many consumers remain ignorant of the ugliness behind the sparkling rocks, greater awareness is spreading. It’s a David-versus-Goliath undertaking for the NGOs involved, but they say they’re making reasonable progress. Human rights abuses are still a problem, but representatives from all three NGOs I spoke with deem their underdog efforts quite successful, a tenacious few altering the practices of a multi-billion-dollar industry.

Ae: diamond research lab on the

IT’S AS IF Lansana Gberie’s skin has hardened from his knowledge of the horrors of the war. His voice on the telephone is abrasive; his words short, hard and to the point. He speaks reluctantly of his experiences and, from the little that he does tell, it’s obvious why he hesitates. Who would willingly relive such painful truths? Gberie, a native of Sierra Leone who has worked with both PAC and his homeland’s truth and reconcilia- tion commission, was still living in the region when war broke out in

1991. “In the war, extremely horrific violence took place,” he says. “Peo- ple were mutilated, their hands chopped off, including the hands of babies and women. Very young peo- ple were killed and mutilated.

A rebel group called the Revolu- tionary United Front was responsible for many massacres in the area, fund- ing their violence through the sale of diamonds. Particularly fruitful were the mines in the Kono district, where roughly 70 per cent of Sierra Leone’s diamonds are found, according to Gberie. “More violence took place in that district, frankly, than any other district,” he says, describing a recent three-day trip to the area to collect testimonies of witnesses and dia- mond traders on behalf of the truth and reconciliation commission.

“TI was told of some ex-soldier [rebels] who killed 500 people,” Gberie continues, “and a huge mass grave was found which may contain the bodies of up to 1,000 people, which was sealed off by UN investigators for a special court in Sierra Leone. If you go there right now, it has been sealed off, but you can see the skulls of peo- ple.” Gberie tells of how a once-thriv- ing community of 200,000 people was obliterated by the rebel attacks in late 1997. “Hundreds of people were killed here and massacred,” he says. “And almost all civilians abandoned the town.... So when the rebels attacked the town in late 1997, everybody abandoned the town. They destroyed, comprehensively, everything—all the houses.... They were digging for dia- monds ali over the town. I’ve never seen a town destroyed by war in this manner. Completely destroyed.”

TURMOIL IN SIERRA LEONE drew international attention to the human rights abuses of the diamond industry several years ago, when PAC began investigating the causes of the region’s 10-year-long conflict. PAC, a coalition of Canadian and African NGOs whose work centres around human security and sustainable development, discov- ered that diamonds were indeed fuel- ing the conflict.

“We didn’t know much about the diamond industry and we didn’t necessarily care about it,” says

FEATURE

Bernard Taylor, the executive direc- tor of PAC. “It wasn’t a problem for us; [we were there] to stop the war. But as we delved into the problem, we discovered that what was hap- pening there was linked to this inter- national industry, which was managed in a really opaque way. And it led to our first publication on Sierra Leone and the international diamond industry, where we accused the industry of turning a blind eye to what was happening in Sierra Leone and other places.”

Conflict or “blood” diamonds are those mined and sold to other sectors of the industry by rebel groups who use the profits to fund violent conflicts. PAC and other agencies learned that the conflict in Sierra Leone was being financed by rebel groups that took over dia- mond mines in the area and fed off their profits. But as Craig Benjamin of Amnesty Canada told me, the diamond industry has a poor human rights record in many other respects as well.

“Whether we're talking about governments or armed opposition groups, anyone who has any con- trol in any stage of the process of dia- monds, from the extraction or min- ing of diamonds, through to the final sale... has the potential to use those diamonds for various purposes other than legitimate trade,” he explains. “Their nature—their high value, their portability, their durabil- ity, the difficulty in tracing their ori- gins—all of these factors have historically made diamonds a extremely useful commodity for all kinds ef illegal transactions.”

According to Amnesty Canada and PAC, the production sector profits by using child labour to dig mines, while the cutting and polish- ing sector profits by paying highly- trained workers minimal wages. Illicit trading is also a problem, with much of the trade conducted through back-room dealings to avoid taxes. While steps have been taken to curb conflict diamonds, illicit trading may be the next big challenge. Taylor says the black mar- ket accounts for 20 per cent of all diamond trading. “The bigger prob-

lem, or at least the next step prob- lem, is the illicit trade, which of course doesn’t help governments or people or development,” he says. “It’s illicit and it’s illegal—and that of course attracts all sorts of Mafia- type people, and that leads to situa- tions where conflict can occur.”

In fact, the more dirt you brush off the surface, the deeper and darker the story of the diamond trade becomes.

ONE SOLUTION to some of these atrocities may be the so-called Kim- berley Process, which emerged from meetings initiated by South Africa in 2000. Three years ago, diamond industry reps, governments and NGOs sat down to discuss-the human cost of diamond production. Taylor explains that the process is named after Kimberley, the diamond centre of South Africa. Diamonds were found there in the late 19th century, launching the modern dia- mond trade. It was South Africa that brought the international communi- ty together in the 1990s to confront human rights issues, says Taylor. Moreover, South Africa has chaired the Kimberley Process meetings since 2000. But starting in January 2004, Canada will assume the posi- tion of chair. For Taylor, this is a very positive move; he’s optimistic about Canada’s involvement. Essentially, the meetings have resulted in more accountability and transparency around the global movement of diamonds. Member countries cannot trade with states which have not agreed to the proto- col, and diamonds transported between member states require doc- umentation disclosing their origins. The origin of many diamonds used to be murky; now the Kimberley Process has cleared up the picture. “Tt’s added a very Clear administra- tive path for diamonds to follow,” says Taylor, “which wasn’t there before. And because everything was unclear, it encouraged contraband, it encouraged illicit trading.”

While the process is seen by all three NGOs as an important step; they've also criticized-it for not cre- ating an independent monitoring system. A round of Kimberley

SEE PAGE 11

VUEWEEKLY QQ DECEMBER 11-17, 2003

HUMAN RIGHTS

Activists protest CSIS anti-terrorist “secret trials”

EDMONTON—“Stop the Secret Trials in Canada,” read a sign held aloft in front of RCMP K Division headquarters at the corner of 111 Ave and 109 St last Satur- day. Responding to the increasingly publicized—and increasingly politi- cized—treatment of suspected terror- ists, a small group of 15 braved the cold to protest against what they feel are the real threats to Canadian security: national laws that strip citizens and immigrants of basic human rights.

“Under the CSIS security certificate, Canada’s spy agency has the ability to imprison Muslim men of Middle Eastern or Arabic background without charges or bail,” said activist Linda Leibovitz, who planned the protest in solidarity with an Ontario organization called Homes Not Bombs. “Neither they nor their lawyers are permitted to see the evidence against them under the blan- ket claim of ‘national security.’”

Last Saturday, Leibovitz read out the names of Hassan Almrei, Mahmoud Harkat, Adil Charkaoui, Mohammad Majoub and Mahmoud Jaballah—all men who have been detained indefi- nitely and are facing deportation. Refugee Hassan Almrei is being “fast- tracked” by Citizenship and Immigra- tion Canada to be sent to Syria. For almost two years, Almrei has been con- fined by authorities on the premise that he’s linked to a terrorist organization. But these CSIS claims have not been backed by evidence. And recently released Canadian citizen Maher Arar, who was deported to Syria by the Unit- ed States, has publicly expressed con- cerns that Almrei will likely endure torture (as he did) if sent to Syria.

“A lot of these [cases] look like they were done to assure the Ameri- cans that Canada is falling in line and that we’re doing the same thing,” said protester Peggy Morton, asking “Why did they pick these five people and put them in jail?”

When asked if there were any simi- lar cases in Edmonton, Morton said, “We meet people all the time who have Personally, or whose families have, been interrogated by the RCMP. One of the huge pressures on people is that if you don’t tell everything you know about everybody, you’re suspected yourself. It's the basis of McCarthyism. It creates an atmosphere of fear. But this doesn’t seem to be happening here. | haven’t seen anyone intimidated by it.”

Leibovitz, however, told a story about an Palestinian mother in Edmon- ton who won't allow her two university sons to attend peace rallies, fearing they will be “taken in” or reprimanded. “| understand her reaction as | am too a mother and an immigrant,” Leibovitz

‘said. “But she’s wrong. We need all People to stand up for their rights.”

Why would anyone be scared? Well,

the CSIS website states that the “Immi-

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gration and Refugee Protection Act con- tains provisions which allow a security certificate to be prepared and signed... when a permanent resident or foreign national is deemed to be inadmissible on grounds of security, violating human or international rights, serious criminali- ty or organized criminality.”

Furthermore, these laws can be racially interpreted, explained Morton. “The notion of national security is predicated on the idea that ‘the other,’ the immigrant, is the threat to so- called Canadians,” she said.

“We're very concerned about not

only what effect these laws are having at the time, but the ramifications and impli- cations seen later on,” added another protester, Kevin Hunter. “! mean, how far can this go? Every Canadian could be a terrorist for questioning policy.” Compa- rably, this could go further. The Home- land Security Act in the United States says that even advocating boycotts can be considered an act of treason.

American ambassador to Canada Paul Cellucci visited Edmonton on Mon- day to award medals to Canadian sol- diers who fought in Afghanistan. Last week he responded to questions about another “Arar” happening by saying, “We respect the Canadian passport [but] reserve the right to act unilaterally.”

“This fight is really about the need to have fundamental rights enshrined in law in Canada,” Morton said, “and it shows at this time they are not.” SHERYLE CARLSON

INTERNET

SOCAN demands anti-piracy fee from ISPs

OTTAWA—Canada’s Society of Com- posers, Authors and Music Publish- ers—better known throughout the music biz as SOCAN—is going to the Supreme Court with a petition to insti- tute a new per-head tax on all Internet users in the country, whether they ille-

gally copy copyrighted music or not. SOCAN, which represents musicians

MR. KLEIN?

WUERE DID YOU GO?

and songwriters across the Canada, is asking that all Internet Service Providers (ISPs) be forced to pay 25 cents per reg- istered user, plus 10 per cent of all adver- tising fees they collect. SOCAN argues that the extra fees are needed to help Canadian artists cope with revenues lost to Internet piracy. Since the proposal has been made, chat sites and blogs across cyberspace have been buzzing.

The new levy would affect both Internet pirates and legitimate users. A person who downloads through offi- cially sanctioned sites or pay-for-use sites such as iTunes would have to pay the SOCAN levy even though some of

their money already goes to the soci-_

ety. For legitimate users, this would mean double taxation.

Moreover, SOCAN already collects a levy on every blank CD and MiniDisc sold in this country to help offset losses due to piracy. The Internet Council of Canada says that even though millions have been collected through this tax, none of that money has filtered down to Canadian artists. It fears the same would happen with an ISP levy. “The flow of money being generated by this tariff is staggering, even at the current rates,” writes A. Saul Rothbart, presi- dent of the ICC. “Over the past two years, $32 million has been received in total surcharges from Canadian con- sumers of blank media. Over $21 mil- lion has been derived directly from the sale of writeable CDs. Curiously, to date the actual intended recipients— namely, the music creators, performers and makers—have yet to see a single penny from these funds.”

The Canadian Private Copying Col- lective was set up to administer the redistribution of the tariff to the music industry. Its own white paper states that two-thirds of money collected in 2001 and 2002 will go to music authors and publishers, 18.9 per cent to performers and 15.1 per cent to the record companies.

While SOCAN helps Canadian artists protect their copyrights, the orga- nization has come under fire for the zeal

“se neeee

ONCE A LEM REE sR.

with which it goes after the Canadian public for licensing fees. SOCAN came under heavy criticism in September when it announced that it planned to charge dentist offices for the right to play music in their waiting rooms, and in April When it asked an Ottawa pub which holds a regular jam session for royalties because the musicians were playing copyrighted material.

But this new case has even greater ramifications for the Internet in Cana- da. If the Supreme Court rules in favour of SOCAN, it sets a precedent that ISPs are legally responsible for all files cached on their systems. And that means companies like Shaw and Bell could be named in any contentious Internet matter, from copyright viola- tion to child porn. —STEven SANDOR

LECTURES Star Chambers

EDMONTON—In his recently released book Roots for Radicals, American “citi- zen power” organizer Edward T. Chambers writes, “A truly democratic public life requires the organization,

* education and development of leaders

who regard themselves as equal, sov- ereign citizens with the know-how to stand for the whole. We’re not born with these civic skills and virtues, and today’s instant gratification culture constantly undermines them. The radi- cal question is why should things be

. this way, rather than another?”

Why, indeed. Find out yourself this Saturday, December 13, when the Greater Edmonton Alliance hosts a free talk by Chambers at the Christ Church Anglican Parish Hall (12116-102 Ave) from 2:30 to 4 p.m. Chambers serves as the national director of a group called the Industrial Areas Foundation, which works on building citizen groups throughout the world. The Greater Edmonton Alliance, which brings together leaders from faith, labour, education and civic organizations, shares similar goals. —DAN RUBINSTEIN

vue point

By DAN RUBINSTEIN

Know the Leg

Last week, on December 3, when the 10-day fall sitting of the Alberta legislature sputtered to a halt, only 36 of the 74 Tory MLAs were in their seats. As Shannon Phillips details in her look back at the shortest fall sit- ting in the country (see page 4), sev- eral of the esteemed members who were present managed to survive those oh-so-tedious debates by play- ing videogames on their laptops, surfing the Internet and snoozing.

Among the absentees on various days of the sitting were Premier Ralph Klein, Energy Minister Murray Smith, Finance Minister Pat Nelson and Envi- ronment Minister Lorne Taylor. With the legislature in session for a mere 56 days this year—up from 47 and 36 days the previous two years— you'd think engagements like a speech to the Wetaskiwin Chamber of Commerce about deregulation (Smith) and a speech in Toronto about public-private partnerships (Nelson) could have been scheduled more prudently. (By way of compari- son, the legislatures in B.C., Ontario and Manitoba all sit for around 70 days a year, while the House of Com- mons in Ottawa was in session for a whopping 125 days in 2002.)

What do all these numbers mean? Well, the Parkland Institute has supplied some stats of its own in.a well-timed new report released last Monday, Trouble in Paradise? Citizens’ Views on Democracy in Alberta. According to the study, which looked at data from a U of A survey of 1,200 adult Albertans ear- lier this year, 66 per cent of people in the province think the economy is healthy or very healthy—but only 40 per cent believe our democracy is healthy or very healthy. More- over, 79 per cent of respondents feel that “big business” has too much influence on government and 67 per cent say “the media” has too much influence as well.

The report also looked specifically at our current Tory government. Fifty per cent of those surveyed agreed with the statement that “the Alberta government hides a lot of information from the people of the province” and 46 per cent agreed that “the provin- cial government has removed too much power from local (municipal) authorities.” Pointing out that people who identified themselves as Liberal or New Democrat supporters were

WUEWEEKLY QQ DECEMBER 11-17, 2003

three dollar bill

B8y RICHARD BURNETT

lack eye for the queer guy

wasn’t long ago that the Fab Five 2w me off—and none of them even much as licked my dick.

Last summer, on the eve of the nadian premiere of Queer Eye for the ‘aight Guy, all my interview requests sre refused. The Fab Five were not, | ts told, blabbing with any Canadian 2dia. It reminded me of my experience th Dennis Quaid, who refused my erview request when he was filming ne Hollywood blockbuster in Montre- last winter. “Mr. Quaid only does

** “interviews with U.S. national media,” his

publicist told me (as / thought to myself, “That motherfucker couldn't even pay to be interviewed five years ago”).

| don’t enjoy playing the incestuous journalist-celebrity game, and many celebs, quite frankly, don’t want to be interviewed in this column. After | thought | had secured an interview with longtime closet queen Richard Chamber- lain following the publication of his so-so autobiography Shattered Love, one of his publishing-company publicists asked me, “You won’t be mean to him, will you?”

| never got the interview.

So | couldn’t help but smile when, after being blown off by the Fab Five, New York magazine reported that QE4SG hair-and-face guy Kyan Douglas proved he could be as much a swine as Quaid when he berated journalists in the VIP area at the New York opening of clothing label Von Dutch. “Get the fuck- ing press out of here!” Kyan reportedly “shrieked” before he demanded that two journalists from In Touch Weekly explain how they crashed the VIP lounge. New York then went in for the

kill: “Given Douglas's decidedly B-list | ©" * 5 *** 5)

status, we're surprised no one in the VIP area yelled, ‘Get the fucking Queer Eye for the Straight Guy guy out of here!’” The mag then sarcastically noted Kyan’s iber-bitch routine surely “endeared him to any number of TV writers.”

Now, if you think that by trashing hunky Kyan I’m reinforcing bitter-queen stereotypes of the gay community (and